A Contemplative Winter Morning

I had an early commitment in the bay area this morning that had me up before the sun. Of course, I was running late. Typical, but I'm getting better. I sat in the dark of the Durango staring at the thin layer of ice on my windshield willing the defroster to work just a tad bit more efficiently so I could get the show on the road.

Traffic was a little heavier than I expected at the hour. I guess I wasn't the only one with a start time of the buttcrack of dawn. I crossed the Yolo Causeway just as the sun was poking through the horizon. It was a beautiful sunrise to a crisp morning. I admired the green farmlands, rolling hills, then coastal mountains and the old but mighty oaks in the early light.

Despite being snug and warm in the environment of a car, I could sense the freshness outside. It made me want to ditch work and join the grazing cows munching on dew-tipped grass. I didn't really want to think about their fate. For the moment, they had the life and I was envious of them. The morning did, however, have me thinking about my own fate and life in general.

Do you ever have those moments where you feel incredibly lucky to be alive? It was one of those experiences which I very much needed. I've been going through some confusing times. You know; "What am I doing with my life? Who am I? What do I want to be when I grow up?" :oP They're the questions many 20-something year olds think about and most of the time shrug off. I tend to dwell and being a scorpio, no matter how hard I try, I rarely let things go. These are questions I often battle with and I'm almost at terms with knowing I will likely do so until my end. In any case, I've made strides to help answer at least a few of these. I'm taking a few music classes. If I enjoy them, I may pursue a second degree and work my way into "the music business." Or I might continue to run off to other continents and prolong growing up for the rest of my life. We'll see.

Random Tangent:
Among mother nature's beauty, I had the pleasure of viewing one of mankind's ugly; billboards. How on earth did we ever let anyone decide it was ok to block landscapes and scenery with 14' x 48' advertisements along our highways? This morning, before I decided not to focus on the consumerism and commercialism of our society, billboards were trying to convince me to become an alcoholic gambler who listens to Catholic Talk Radio. And yes, it is OUR society. Out of all the countries I have traveled, America is the only one commited to the waste of a good view. To better articulate my random tangent and hopefully make you think twice, I will leave you with a picture I snagged off of a friend's page and a few lines from a great song by a great band. (Check 'em out!)














Who owns the wall space in this big city
The companies have billboards but that shit ain't pretty
Government busy scrubbing true art off the wall
The voices of the people and the freedom scrawl
-Northern State "Vicious Cycle"